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The Prosecution: Beth

Sometimes she films me while having a meal. I’ll see myself on her Instagram – it feels like a jumpscare.

My best friend of 10 years, she, calls herself the “content queen”. It’s fun for a short while, but it weighs on our friendship.

Being highly outgoing, there's a constant urge the need to record everything constantly. During meals out, she says, “The phone eats first,” and snaps pictures with bright lighting, which induces embarrassment. I don’t like it when other people see her performing for the camera – I get secondhand embarrassment. Another annoyance is because meals lose their warmth.

She isn’t exactly an influencer yet, but Marielle is aspiring to become one. She makes vlogs about living in our city, a day in her life, and her styling career. Her content is good, credit where it's due, but I prefer not to be involved. On occasion she films me while dining, or simply tagging along. I’ll see myself on her Instagram later, and it pops up like a surprise: I’ll have bare-faced, an awkward face or photographed while eating. It’s uncomfortable.

Marielle also anticipates that I will to record her at inconvenient times. Often I’ll be talking to another person, or we're simply spending time in the street. The dynamic feels like our friendship has turned into me serving as her free crew. She could easily employ someone if she wanted professional shots. Upon mentioning my discomfort about the situation, she brushed it off. I've been invited to a couple of industry functions, which were appreciated, but that doesn’t make up for all the energy I invest assisting her create material.

I appreciate that she has supported me with my career in design, but I resist our connection to become just a ledger of exchanges. I don’t feel she's insincere or dishonest, but sometimes it seems that if recording starts, we will begin acting in a way that makes us look good for her channel.

Her directive is, “OK, look happy!” and record me laughing with another. It’s so silly. It's crucial her to recognize that our decade-long friendship still has boundaries. I enjoy spending time with her, but I also desire to experience it without being filmed, altered, or shared for an viewers. I’m not a accessory for her online persona.

The Defence: The Content Creator's View

I want my friend to see that the creations we produce together can get us an opportunity.

I love creating videos. It’s not just a pastime; it’s part of who I am. Producing content and sharing my life online allows me to show my personality and engage with people in novel forms.

I don’t see myself as a full influencer yet, but it's savvy to make money from your interests. I admire people on TikTok who execute that aesthetic of informal, self-made film-making.

Creating content is my version of living actively: observing the details, sharing them with an audience that values the craft behind it. It's never my aim to make Beth uneasy. Bringing her to industry events was my way of offering access, providing her a chance to experience behind-the-scenes moments that could benefit her professional path too. That’s not blackmail, it's simply being pragmatic.

I’d still take her to such functions even if she didn’t help me, but I want her to see what the work we make together can get us: an opening. I understand not all people likes being on camera, but often unplanned moments is what makes material genuine. Appearing on video occasionally is an inherent aspect of being my friend. I would delete anything she asked, but she hasn't made such a request yet.

I don’t expect anybody to be my personal filmmaker, but friends help each other in minor capacities. I thought recording a clip here or there would be enjoyable for her. Innovation thrives in partnership, and having Beth around makes endeavors lively and pleasurable. I don't compel her to participate in anything, and I would never deliberately embarrass her. But filming together occasionally is part of how I record our shared experiences.

I value our friendship profoundly and don’t want making videos to come between us. I’m willing to compromise: like requesting permission before recording, and avoiding shots that might make her uncomfortable.

This isn’t about control, it’s about expressing my perspective while still considering hers. Clearly content creation is not a substitute for genuine friendship: it's merely part of how I live my life and I desire her to be included in a way that’s enjoyable for both of us.

The Jury: Reader Opinions

Should Marielle stop recording herself and her friend when they are out together?

There’s nothing more uncomfortable than having a companion point a camera at you. I understand that it’s Marielle’s job, but I don’t make friends come to my work. Maybe she can find like-minded creators to collaborate with. With the uncertain future of technology, human connections are the only thing we have – don’t waste them!
A respondent, 25

When pursuing something professionally, it's unfair to expect your friends for help every time, even if they have done it before. If Marielle loves shooting, that doesn't imply all those around her is content. She needs to honor Beth’s privacy.
Another reader, 26

Marielle might love making content and showing off her life publicly, but it isn't for everybody. It was kind she has assisted her friend professionally, but she must to listen to what Beth wants.
A commenter, 27

It seems like you care about each other, so hold on to that and ensure it’s the focus in your relationship. Create some authentic experiences, where genuine feelings are stored, not online archives. Even public figures who seem to reveal their worlds actually have more privacy than it appears.
Sarah, 53

Marielle appears to be not fully engaged nor genuine when they're together – she's on the job. Each appears confused as to what’s reasonable. The solution lies not in trying to alter one another, but in each establishing clear boundaries around what is comfortable to them and seeing if there is an mutually agreeable middle ground.
Barbara, 71

Your Turn to Be the Judge

Consider this question: has she been over-exposing their bond?